Ok, So Christmas always makes me think of all the things I have to be greateful that I have recived or expirienced during the year, and so now I will annouce my thanks to the world!!


First of all, I want to thank and (like I do every year) for putting through my bullshit, my retarded, pissy, depressed, and Hyper, happy go lucky moments. Thank you for always helping me through the little things that always seem to evoke such strong reactions in me (both good and bad). Thank you for being there when I needed and Need you guys, even after we get into fights that would normally tear us apart. Thank you fo teaching me things that my parents never would, and thank you for being my family when it feels like my real family could care less. I love you guys so much!! Thank you!!



And I want to thank for being such an amazing friend. Seriously, I have never met you in person, and yet I count you as one of the few people I trust and can talk and rant to no matter what. Whatever comes my way, I always come to you for advice because you give me so much wisdom. Serously. I know I saw this alot, but one day I will make good on my promise/threat. I am coming. To Kansas. To kidnap your skinny little behind and dragging you kicking and screaming to Florida. I'm debating on wheather to demand a ransom from your husband. I'm sure we can think of something right?


AND OMG !!!!! Thank you for becoming my friend!! I'm happy to know that I'm not the only raging fangirl that has an addiction to that of the Akuroku gayness. I feel that with you I can be a fangirl and know that you're probably screaming right along with me. Thank you for introducing me to 's wonderful stories. For that, I am forever in your debt. And I give you the same threat that I gave Audra. I am coming to Wisconsin(...right? ) and kidnapping your precious little ass and chaining you to my wall!! Salem can join too, and then we can have a hot threesome

And of course to all my watchers. I never exprected to finish out the year with almost 10,000 pageviews. Thank you for making me believe that my coloring is something that people would actually enjoy. You all have given me so much confidence in myself, all from your faves and comments. Thank you so much!!

Ok....I think that's it. I will probably write another one of these a couple of days before the New year. Just FYI.

OH! AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE AVATAR MOVIE YET, YOU SHOULD ALL SMACK YOURSELFS AND THEN GO SEE IT! IT IS BY FAR THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN!! SO FLY MY PRETTIES!!! SEE THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!

God...the three month waiting period between it being in theaters and coming onto DVD is going to KILL ME!!!

The Music Program Tag

Number of Songs Total: 664 Songs.
Total Length of Songs: 1.7 days....

Sort by Song title
First song: Action! - Maaya Sakamoto
Last song: 7 Things - Miley Cyrus (HEY! IT'S A GOOD SONG OK?!?)

Sort by Time
Shortest song: Drinking Song - Yoko Kanno
Longest song: Augie's Great Municipal Band and End Credits - John Williams

Sort by Album
First song: Time is Running Out - Muse
Last song: Date Rape - Sublime

Sort by Artist
First song: Hometown Glory - ADELE
Last song: True to your Heart - 98 Degrees

Top 10 Most Played Songs:
1. Peices - Red
2. Champagne - Cavo
3. Lullabye - Emmy Rossum
4. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
5. Evacuate the Dance Floor - Cascada
6. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
7. Funhouse - P!nk
8. Call Me - SHinedown
9. 10,000 Miles - Mary Chapin Carpenter
10. Morning Glow - Mayuko Aoki

First 5 songs that come up on shuffle
1. True to your Heart - 98 Degrees
2. Du Hast - Rammstein
3. Drowning (Face Down) - Saving Abel
4. Franklin - Paramore
5. Take me Away - Avril Lavigne

Search...
"sex" - How many songs come up?: 1
"love" - How many songs come up?: 39
"you" - How many songs come up?: 77
"death" - How many songs come up?: 5
"Z" - How many songs? 58

Put your music on shuffle, take the second letter of the first song and everyone with that letter in their name is tagged: 'N'.

If you have the letter 'N' in your name or screen name-- You're tagged!

I'm seriously sick and tired of people thinking that they know better then me, and try to give me advice when it contridicts the exact actions that they themselves are taking. I'm getting sick and tired of people saying that I'm naive and childish all because I tend to try and give someone the time that they need. I'm also getting sick and tired of people making fun of me because my feelings, and how I go about to express them.

Get your own fucking life! Stop trying to mind fuck me, and make me feel guilty because I don't want your god damn opinon. God forbid I decide to not listen to your advice only to get screwed. Well, you know what?

LET ME GET FUCKING SCREWED!!!!

Stop trying to baby me, let me make my own mistakes! If I don't learn then I don't learn. It's not your fucking problem! I'm glad that you like me enough to want to spare me pain, but if I walk into a wall, whistling a tune, then let me do it!! I understand that you went through the same thing. I get it, but just because it happened to you, doesn;t nessecarily mean that it's going to happen to me. Two different people, two completly different circumstances. Give me the oppertunity to give be a fucking optmist!

I have finals this week, thinking about this is NOT something I need at the moment. If I flunk any of these classes, my graduation gets pushed back another fucking semester!!!

How about you stop being a hipocrate, hm? How about you look actually listen to the words that you are saying and apply them to yourself instead of lecturing me? Because you are SO much deeper in the rabit hole then I am, and you don't hear me lecturing you about it.
Fuck, You never listen to the advice that I give you anyway, so why the fuck should I listen to the advice you give me?!

If you want to believe that you are 'second on everyone's list' then go ahead. I'm done with trying to talk you out of it. I'm done trying to get you to see the light side, I'm done trying to make you feel better. If you want to spiral down in your own depression, then do it, and don't you dare get pissed at me for 'not caring' when I ignore your little 'oh woe is me' bullshit.

Please just leave me the fuck alone, go screw up your own life and I'll go screw up mine.

Does that sound good to you?

001. Real name? Alyssa
002. Nickname(s)? Lys, Els, (Cookie <-- very few have the privalage to call me this)
003. Zodiac sign? Segetarius
004. Male or female? Female
005. Elementary? Discovery Elemantary
006. Middle School? Central Middle
007. High School? Satellite High
008. Hair color? Brunette
009. Long or short? Long (waist length
010. Loud or Quiet? Loud if I'm with close friends, but I'm kinda shy when it comes to new people
011. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans
012. Phone or Camera? Both....?
013. Health freak? To a point
014. Drink or Smoke? Drink occasionally
015. Do you have a crush on someone? yes
016. Eat or Drink? I drink more then I eat
017. Piercings? Two standard ear peircings.
018. Tattoos? Hell no.

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane? Not a commercial one
020. Been in a car accident? Yep
021. Been in a fist fight? not.......yet.....

FIRSTS:
022. First piercing? My ears.
023. First best friend?
025. First award? English
026. First crush? a guy in Middle school
028. First big vacation? a cruse that I went on with my family and

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to? Teeny aka
030. Last person you texted? Sean
031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with? Teeny, KK and Jim
032. Last food you ate? Frozen type french fries
033. Last movie you watched? The Fast and the Furious
034. Last song you listened to? I will not Bow - Breaking Benjamin
035. Last thing you bought? A soda at Work
036. Last person you hugged? Teeny-chan....and my cat, seeing as she didn't want to come inside

FAVES:
037. Food? Lasagna
038. Drinks? Water / Juice
039. Clothing? Jeans
040. Book? There are too many to single out only one...
041. Music? Rock, Alternative, Anime, Instrumental......
042. Flower? Carnation
043. Colors? Emerald Green
044. Movies? Again, too many to single out only one
045. Shoes? BOOTS!!!
046. Subjects? Psychology related....? And Music of course

IN THE PAST YEAR I ... :
047. [ ] kissed in the snow
048. [x] celebrated Halloween
049. [ ] had your heart broken
050. [x] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [ ] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [ ] came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ] had an abortion
055. [x] done something you've regretted
056. [ ] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [x] pretended to be sick
061. [ ] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [ ] ran a mile
065. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend
066. [x] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating? Almond Crush Pocky
068. Drinking? nothing
069. I'm about to? Go to Bed
070. Listening to? Before the Dawn - Evanescence
071. Plans for today/tomorrow? School, cleaning house, work.....in that order -_-0
072. Waiting for? My Re-embursment check from my school....I need to pay off a lot of people -_-0

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? maybe.
074. Want to get married? Eventually
075. Careers in mind? Something in Graphic designing........I think...

WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL?
076. Lips or eyes? Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? Preferably taller, but not any shorter then me.
078. Romantic or spontaneous? Romantic
079. Nice stomach or nice arms? Stomach
080. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive
081. Hookup or relationship? Relationship
082. Troublemaker or hesitant? Troublemaker... to a point;

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts? yup...
084. Ran away from home? In a sense, yes
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense? nope
086. Killed somebody? HAHAAHAHAHA........no
087. Broken someone's heart? I hope not....
088. Been arrested? Nope.
089. Cried when someone died? Yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself? Sometimes...
091. Miracles? Yes
092. Love at first sight? No. Lust at first sight, yes. How can you love someone who you've only just seen? I think you'd need to get to know them first. (I liked her answer )
093. Heaven? Yes.
094. Santa Claus? Never have;
095. Sex on the first date? ..............no.
096. Kiss on the first date? .........maybe...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes.....
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? It could be better, but I'm thankful for what I have.
099. Do you believe in God? Yes
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED.....I'm too tired to go looking for ten peoples.....

So.....I found this randomly, looking for something completly unrelated to Akuroku, but hey, whatever works.

I will warn you though, this does take a toll on the hands. Mine are so sore right now


1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like. (akuroku of course )
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.


1. My Happy Ending – Avril Lavigne

He hated this….this silent barrier that seemed to suddenly appear between them. OK, so yes, he might have gotten a little too drunk, and yes, there might have been some action between himself and another red head. But not talking to him for three weeks was going a little overboard, even for Axel. It wasn’t Roxas’ fault that Axel had ignored him at the party. It hadn’t been his fault that he decided to talk with Demyx and Zexion for most of the time that they were there. It was Axel’s idea to go to the stupid high school party in the first place. But as Roxas paced his room, glancing at his silent cell phone for the millionth time, he couldn’t help the guilt that settled in over the anger. He should have been more responsible….he knew that Reno liked him. He knew that Reno actively hit on him, ignoring the fact that he had a boyfriend. But he had gone alone with him anyway, because Axel hadn’t been there.

Maybe it was his fault after all.



2. Numb – Linkin Park


They were yelling again. Something about school, he wasn’t sure. He had stopped listening a long time ago. Jade eyes stared blankly at the man who many called his father, all while the man continued to yell words that Axel wouldn’t understand. They were angry because Axel had once again tried to do things on his own…in the way that he wanted to do them. Demyx had been helping him learn the electric guitar that he secretly longed to learn how to play. He wanted desperately to be the musician that his friend was. Or at least have a voice like Roxas did. But that went against the past eight generations of Lawyers that his family was tied to. It had been all planned out, all set into place without his father ever asking his permission.

He didn’t want to be Lawyer, but then again he didn’t seem to have a choice.


3. Hear you me – Jimmy Eat World

Beep...Beep....Beep...


Blonde spikes shook involuntarily as blue eyes gazed at the red head that was currently laying on the bed, strapped to the machines that were keeping him alive. This was all his fault…..if he had not yelled at Axel, if he had only listened to what the red head had wanted to say then this would have never happened. Axel would have never have left their shared apartment, and the drunk driver wouldn’t have hit the only person he really cared for. All of the yells and curses that Roxas had thrown at him before Axel stormed out echoed in his head like an evil manta. He didn’t mean any of them, he had only been frustrated, and it had come out all wrong. He had been having a bad day, and he had taken it out on the only person who actually cared. And now he was paying the price for something he had always taken for granted.

Punctured rib……needs surgery…blood transfusion… possible coma…

The words continued to echo off the walls of his mind, bringing the salty liquid to his eyes once more. He allowed them to slip down his cheeks. Maybe if he allowed himself to cry, it would bring his boyfriend back to him.

It was impossible of course, but it was the only way he could think of to keep from snapping from the stress.



4. Womanizer – Britney Spears

The club was filled with bodies moving to the pulsing beat, just like it was every Friday night. But despite the active tempo that shook the floorboards, he remained on the side, not bothering to partake in the dance. After all, he had no one to dance with. Not as if he hadn’t had enough offers to fill up a night. No….there was only one offer he wanted. And it was the one offer he could never take. Emerald eyes rested on the object of his current obsession, dancing with the busty brunette in the center of the floor. Reno had been there every night he had come, and every night he silently asked Axel if he wanted to dance. But Axel was smarter then to get swept into that tangled web. Reno was known for his tendancy to go through lovers like tissue paper. But knowing, and wanting are two different things.

And the wanting was starting to get the better of him.


5. No Roads Left – Linkin Park

So this was it. There was nothing left to do. Ocean blue eyes stared out at the ocean of the setting sun. He was done…graduated from high school at the top of his class. But now what?

He could go on to college, get a degree in something, but what? There was nothing really that he wanted to do. He wasn’t like Axel, who had his entire life planned out, starting with getting accepted into the automotive tech college over 100 miles away from the little sea side town they lived in. 100 miles…….when one didn’t have a mode of transportation, it seemed like it was half way across the world. Axel had offered for Roxas to go with him, but what would Roxas do? Sure he could work while getting a general degree, but it felt as if he was only slowing Axel down.

High school was done. They had a good four years, but maybe it was time for them to go their separate ways.

6. Losing you – Dead By April

So you’re really leaving huh?” Roxas paused in the middle of the dark street. It didn’t surprise him that Axel would be the one to ‘try and stop him’ as Demyx had so graciously put it, while acting out his own attempt and failing. But nothing Axel said would change his mind. He wanted to know why he had the keyblade. Why he was placed with a burden that no one else seemed to have to bear.

“Yeah…I want to know.”

“But you don’t have to leave to find that out…..you could stay here…” With me. Roxas practically heard the words that went unspoken. Part of him wanted to stay….it really did, but he was tired of being Xemnas’ puppet in the process. He had good memories of this place, but it could never account for all the bad ones he had.

“You know I can’t...” He made the mistake of glancing over his shoulder at the red head who leaned against the black walls of some random building. “I can’t stay here any longer, and you know that.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave?” It pained him to hear that steady smooth voice crack with pain. It hurt far worse then he believed it would. Xemnas had to be wrong. How could nothingness hurt so much?

“I’m sorry, Axel.”


7. Outside – Staind

No matter how he looked at it, it was pathetic. Even walking through the halls of his high school was starting to annoy him. All the glances that he got, all the mumbles he heard of the students talking behind his back. All of them thought that they were better than him…that they were less tainted then he had been. All because he had yet to speak of why he went missing for three months. Never did he speak about it and because of his silence, it made everyone try to come up with their own twisted stories. Not that Roxas cared. He could care less about what all the stuck up nobodies thought of him. There was only one opinion that mattered to him, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to tell even Axel what had happened. Axel had been the first one to know that he had gone missing. It had been Axel that had organized the search party. And it was Axel that still saw him as he was three months ago. Innocent… pure, carefree. But he was not as innocent and naïve as he once was…..not anymore.

No……the mad man had seen to that.


8. Let you Down – Three Days Grace

People often thought that it would be hard, doing this kind of work. But manipulating people had never been that hard. Not for him. He brushed the red spikes out of his face as jade eyes watched the blond sleep…..the blonde who had fallen completely for his façade. It hadn’t been hard, Roxas inevitably fell for anything, one simply had to have a little patience. But the longer this job ran, the more complicated it became. He had been sent here to assassinate the heir to the top competing company. One shot….that was all it should have taken. He should have just pulled the trigger that night…the first night he had come here. But he couldn’t kill a sleeping target.

He couldn’t then, and he sure as hell couldn’t now.

9. Die Another Day – Madonna

“See? I told you it would work.” Axel laughed from his spot on the bed. Roxas shook his head in disbelief. He had fully believed that they would have never made it out of Halloween town. But here they were….thanks to Axel. And Thanks to Axel, Roxas had barely a scratch on him. It was infuriating, that the red head believed that Roxas couldn’t take care of himself. Axel had all but killed himself casting a spell as big as that one. Sure it had gotten the job done killed all the heartless and such, but Zexion was barely able to keep Axel from fading into nothingness.

“You almost died.” Roxas mumbled, more to himself then the red head on the bed. Axel simply chuckled and waved his hand in the ‘brushing off’ gesture.

“Ah, but I didn’t.”


10. Everything Changes – Staind

“I can’t take it anymore!” The words were ripped from the perfect lips of the man he loved so much. Jade eyes flashed with both anger and pain as the tension filled silence soaked up all the sounds in the large living room.

“What do you mean?” Roxas was able to ask after a long moment.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Roxas; you know damn well what I mean.” Yes he did….and he hated it. Ever since Axel’s cousin came into town to ‘visit’, Roxas couldn’t help his eyes (or his hands) to himself. Reno looked so much like Axel that it was creepy. Everything about the two men were the same. They way they acted, the way they gestured, the way the spoke…..everything was the same, and yet the only thing that differed was the amount that they actually cared for him. Reno just wanted him for his body, where as Axel actually loved him.

Or at least, he did. Now, looking into angry emerald eyes, he wasn’t so sure if this was something he could fix.


I tag thee!!!